As Opening Day swiftly approaches, the games I'll be attending are doing the same. Each moment that passes gets me that much closer to the all in, pedal to the metal, three month sprint I'll be doing before I start work in early June. With this new schedule format and the different opportunities it gives me, I needed to think about what would be important to me this upcoming year. Which areas of my game should I improve the most? What things might I add to my normal routine? What should be my top priority, above all else? What do I want to see, do, and experience? But most of all, how can I make 2014 memorable?
To be honest, for a very long time, I had no idea. I focused on that last question the most. This summer is just the beginning of the radical changes that will continue to take place in the next couple of years. I have a lot to fit into my last three month break before becoming an actual adult. Going to three or four games a week for seven weeks in a row will surely call for some unplanned adjustments. Purely because I have no idea what that's going to be like, I couldn't come up with any traditional "goals" to set for myself.
That word is in quotes because it's meaning is changing for me. Telling myself I want to get to a certain number of balls or do something a specific way seems pretty pointless now. What I really want to do is be at my best for every single game I go to. No matter how many balls I get, I just want to be happy with how how *I* performed. As I've learned after falling short a handful of times, nearly all quantifiable Ballhawking stats are completely out of my control.
What I CAN manage to do is constantly compare and reflect. Just like every year before this, I want to be a different Ballhawk than I was previously. When I started in 2011, I tasted continued success for the first time. In 2012, I got hooked on the adrenaline of getting a ball day after day. Everything I did in 2013, planned or unplanned, gave me a new perspective about my passion for this sport within the game and where it could take me. If catching baseballs is my dream and what I like to do more than anything, I should embrace everything it's willing to give me in return. Last season, I accepted some of those offers. I traveled, made friends, took risks, and really saw what these adventures were capable of.
Now that I've seen what happens when I take the proactive route, I want to begin another journey in a different direction. I've explained to you anything and everything about Ballhawking, and insisted you think it's the single greatest thing ever, just like I do. I know. You get it. I finally understand that. I don't have to (or want to) prove anything anymore. In 2014, I'm doing it all for me. The games, the blogging, the traveling; it's all for my own enjoyment of doing what I love.
I'm going to chase the things that are important to me personally. Things that allow me to grow as a Ballhawk and a person, with both sides giving support to the other. I'll be going to quite a few games by myself this year, which will give me lots of alone time. Nothing in the world sounds more peaceful than sitting in the Bleachers at Wrigley, thinking about the things I'm going to introduce below. (Note: I'm not trying to isolate myself. With so many games in such little time, it would have been a huge pain in the ass to find 15 people who are available and also willing to pay me $20 to $30.)
The point is, I'm going to keep more to myself this season. I've done enough of the promotional work. It's time for me to decide about how exactly I feel about Ballhawking and blogging when they remain separate from everything else. Things will always continue to change, but in this time of turmoil and clash of forces, I need to see what the constant is like. Just myself, the blog, and my glove, and nothing that's going on outside the stadium.
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Going back to what I said a earlier, the focus this year is on my mindset rather than performance and results. If Ballhawking dominates so much of the free time through multiple avenues in my life, why shouldn't I use it to teach me something? Likewise, why can't I begin to apply skills and lessons that will make me the person I want to be outside of my hobby? These points are what I think can easily flow back and forth in that relationship.
2014 Focus Points
- Fake it till I make it
I'm the only force holding back my own success. I've always believed I was inferior to other Ballhawks because I didn't have the skills or amount of practice they did. First of all, I'm going to have plenty of practice in May to warm up my skills, evaluate them, then make immediate improvements. With so many games back to back, I won't lose any progress I've made since the last game.
Secondly, I need to realize that I'm just as good, or even better than them, in at least ONE category. Compared to other Ballhawks, I've always been extremely committed while away from the field. Things like trying to squeeze in one more game, doing research, and planning for the future show I really care about this deep down. I already have everything I need to be a better Ballhawk, so in already my fourth full season, I need to believe that I'm one of them.
Secondly, I need to realize that I'm just as good, or even better than them, in at least ONE category. Compared to other Ballhawks, I've always been extremely committed while away from the field. Things like trying to squeeze in one more game, doing research, and planning for the future show I really care about this deep down. I already have everything I need to be a better Ballhawk, so in already my fourth full season, I need to believe that I'm one of them.
- Make things easier on myself
This mostly relates to going to games alone. I've always had to think about who could come with me and how they would react when I told them we're showing up two hours early. I'm not exactly sure why I always felt pressured to being someone. Whenever I did, I faced a constant struggle of what I COULD do, and what I really WANTED to do.
When I'm by myself, my attitude while walking up to the stadium completely changes. Rather than feeling pressured to ignore Ballhawking when the game starts, I have the mindset that a day at the ballpark is like a day in the office. I have a job to do the entire time I'm there. If I want to go to a game on a day off, and have the money for a ticket, why shouldn't I go? Nothing else needs to be considered.
When I'm by myself, my attitude while walking up to the stadium completely changes. Rather than feeling pressured to ignore Ballhawking when the game starts, I have the mindset that a day at the ballpark is like a day in the office. I have a job to do the entire time I'm there. If I want to go to a game on a day off, and have the money for a ticket, why shouldn't I go? Nothing else needs to be considered.
- Cherish it - It may not come back
- Explore and take risks
"Play it safe" is my life motto. If there's even the slightest chance that I'll have to face any sort turmoil, I take the conservative route. This the biggest "Ballhawk to Life" lesson on this list. Taking the safe route oftentimes gives me nothing extraordinary in return. By going out of my comfort zone, I'll see that my world won't come crashing down if I take one tiny chance on something.
Mainly, I'm thinking about the 100th Anniversary game at Wrigley on a Wednesday afternoon. I'm going to let a single 50 minute class at 10 AM stand between me and a once in a lifetime celebration? No matter how responsible it is to stay at school, a little piece of me is going to die if I'm not in Chicago that day. If I let that little class hold me back from something this great, it's very clear that my heart and my head have some issues to work out. I don't want it to get to that point.
Mainly, I'm thinking about the 100th Anniversary game at Wrigley on a Wednesday afternoon. I'm going to let a single 50 minute class at 10 AM stand between me and a once in a lifetime celebration? No matter how responsible it is to stay at school, a little piece of me is going to die if I'm not in Chicago that day. If I let that little class hold me back from something this great, it's very clear that my heart and my head have some issues to work out. I don't want it to get to that point.
- Don't be afraid of human interaction
Ushers, security guards, general fans, players, other Ballhawks, interesting people on the El - anyone. Stemming from the last point, if I keep doing the same things as I currently do and talk to no one, how am I expected to have any fun? If I didn't change my ways last September, I never would have met Mark and a bunch of the other regulars. Because I had a small conversation with him that I typically wouldn't have with a stranger, I have plenty people to talk and hang out with this entire next season.
- 100 balls
Okay, so there's ONE number I'm thinking about. It's THE number that was on my mind when I came home after catching my first ball. This year, the century mark is in sight . A week or two ago, I realized I could make it before summer even starts. In the (roughly) 14 games I have on my schedule before June, I need 36 balls. In 16 Ballhawk games last year, I got 32.
Actually, I'm nearly certain I'll get it. It's going to happen on (or, if I'm lucky, slightly before) June 6th at Wrigley. That's my last one before work starts. From the beginning, I said I would really start thinking about the future when I got to triple digits. Now, there's no stopping the future when I'm forced to take a look back in October. My two major evaluation points, approaching at the exact same time. It all falls too perfectly together.
Actually, I'm nearly certain I'll get it. It's going to happen on (or, if I'm lucky, slightly before) June 6th at Wrigley. That's my last one before work starts. From the beginning, I said I would really start thinking about the future when I got to triple digits. Now, there's no stopping the future when I'm forced to take a look back in October. My two major evaluation points, approaching at the exact same time. It all falls too perfectly together.
****
What I wrote above and my overall attitude is much more calm than what I typically feel at this point. Normally, I'm losing my head and can rarely get baseball off my mind. This time is oddly different. There's not much I haven't done. Nothing is a brand new experience anymore. Even when I go to a new park, I can think back to the four new ones I've visited and Ballhawked since I started blogging. It's a very interesting feeling. We'll have to see what comes of it.
To all baseball fans of America - Have a happy and joyous March 31st, the day we can unanimously agree on as the best day of the year.
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